(Disclaimer :: I've been sitting on this post for a couple of days ~ I'm not really the type to air things like this to people other than close family but sometimes you need to get it off your chest in order to move forward. I think maybe the fogginess and hormones of pregnancy have much to blame right now, not to mention Luke has been sent away for work and I've too much time in my own head right now. So sorry in advance for the heaviness and feel free not to keep reading!!) x
There's no other word for it really. Never have I entered the beginning of a year without a list of goals or a rough idea of where I wanted to be 'at' on entering the next year. I almost never achieve those goals but at least it gives me a kind of sense of direction. This year, my brain is a fog. Hopes and wishes have given way to reality and it feels confusing. I think the main thing I need to do for myself this year is to DO MORE FOR MYSELF. It's just so easy to become lost in being 'mum' and 'wife'. Also over the last 12 months, close friendships have changed, I've fallen out and reconciled a family member, other people have moved on and away, I've become cluttered and unorganised, I've not been as creative as I usually am (which hurts) and besides the wonderful boys (all 3, including the husband) I have been blessed to have and know, I am left feeling alone and empty much of the time.
When it comes to my creative rut, I just don't know where to start first, or where to find the time to be creative. 2011 sucked in the craft stakes for me, and I've spent less time making stuff than I ever have in my entire life. I was one of those little girls making barbie clothes outta fabric scraps and sellotape. Now, I just sit back and admire others endeavors thinking "i wish, i wish, i wish".
When it comes to my creative rut, I just don't know where to start first, or where to find the time to be creative. 2011 sucked in the craft stakes for me, and I've spent less time making stuff than I ever have in my entire life. I was one of those little girls making barbie clothes outta fabric scraps and sellotape. Now, I just sit back and admire others endeavors thinking "i wish, i wish, i wish".
Anyway to cut a long post short, 2012 for me is going to be about ME. Rebuilding friendships, spending more time with family, travel (even just in NZ!) and making stuff! I'm still working on a goals list, the planner in me can't help it... it's just taking a while longer than usual I think.
And even in all the lost-ness, there is one thing that is for certain this year and that is that I will become a mama of three! This pregnancy feels like its really running away on me already ~ 16 weeks tomorrow. Can't wait to meet the little June-bug.
With that I'm off to eat ice cream. I need it after that mother load.
Me too Kristin. I'm on a mission to make 2012 more about me. And I know, you'll know, that I don't mean this in a selfish way...it's easy to lose yourself when your a Mum and a bit trickier finding youself...but give us some time and I'm sure we'll do it x
ReplyDeletexxx
ReplyDeleteAs an aside...cos feedback always helps: We bought one of your last monster hoodies off felt and the number of comments we get about how awesome it is, and queries about where it came from is astounding!! So, when your creative juice is flowing, it's awesome :-) All the best for 2012.
ReplyDeleteFor me, it definitely helps once baby is out - I'm 14 weeks.
yup, def need a plan of action for the creative rut (cos like Sarah said, you have some AWESOME creative juices when it's flowing!!)
ReplyDeleteand don't be too hard on yourself if you don't end up getting much "me-time" mid year...you will have a new bebe and 2 pre-schoolers after all :)
happy new year lovely lady
X
I'm with Sarah about your awesome talent - the owl hoodie of yours I bought for Isabelle gets countless lovely comments, even from strangers in the street. Whatever your next creative endeavour is I'm sure it will be awesome.
ReplyDeleteI hope 2012 works out to be an awesome year for you :) Jenny
Hi Kris, miss you guys, love that there'll be new babies from you and from Pip for me to squish when I get back. Take care and I hope you find yourself soon, or at least get to that feeling that you're heading in the right direction. I know what you mean. I feel like I'm on a mission to change my life up right now. I loved it when I read your post with your summer goals to shoot photos on film. I had just finished shooting my very first roll of film in years on my dad's old SLR, and I've since shot about 5 more, all over Paris and on our holidays. I can't wait to get them developed. Ok take care lovely xxx
ReplyDelete